Why? Why? Why?!

Why do I have to be cursed with indoor cats? Why? Why does my feline James Bond have to irritate the neighbors so much that he's confined until further notice? Why did I have to end up with kittens which turned into seventeen pound cats (that's an average, now that Blue's lost five pounds)? Why do they eat so much? Why do they produce so much? Why do I have to spend my precious evening alone time which I usually spend winding down with my knitting or a book or my husband (depending on his homework schedule) outside in the dark fighting the soaker hose to get enough pressure to spray out the inside of the liter box because that stupid clumping liter is made of clay and if it gets really wet it sticks? Why, why, why did Tiger have to christen the box with the stinky stuff the second I was done? Why?!